Out from the forest

14 Sep

 

I have come out from self-imposed exile in the forest. I’ve been stepping beyond the little summer territory I traced out between Korsvoll, Skar, Grefsenkollen and work. Now downtown, bars, restaurants, culture too.

I’ve been out in the forest because I needed it. Viscerally. I needed to feel strong. On a long term basis, not just ups and downs. This had to be a month-by-month, year-by-year process. That was the only way I would be profoundly convinced.

And now there are a lot of surprised people around me. I know it doesn’t feel good. I’m sorry about that. But when I come to a hill, I throw everything into it. Poles and muscles flex, legs push. Momentum instead of hesitation. I keep my head down and my body high.

Just like that I’ve confronted head-on in the past two months things that were holding me back.

I know that people around me have been hurt. I’ve broken rollerskis while climbing. But these changes have made a difference in the way a lot of people perceive me. Without me having to say a word to them. And, indeed, they’ve changed the way I see others.

I’m starting to live in this city I approached so timidly before from the edge.

Jeg har det mye bedre nå. Du kommer til å se det.

Jeg bor i Oslo.

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