New rollerski diaries: pipi de chat

20 Aug

A cross-country skier named Levi Hensel wrote a series of chronicles called the roller ski diaries. Much of what I do here is mere cheap imitation, which is the low-cost best form of a compliment.

Like Hensel, I too try to bridge the gap between the sane masses of population and the few raving lunatics on asphalt with little wheels and poles.

Though in the end, the rest of the world probably wants to keep its distance. So, maybe this is all about me. Just a sad attempt to grapple my way back into decent society by explaining the ins and outs of what I do in hopes the Interwebs will be convinced that rollerskiing is actually a perfectly normal and reasonable choice for a slightly eager skier like me.

Yes, yes, we lie the worst when we lie to ourselves.

Things like what happened to me last week don’t happen to normal people. There I was coming back in from a particularly successful rollerski outing. I had just smoked my all-time speed record in Maridalen. In one go I’d broken both the 3 minute km average mark and held my overall speed over 20 km/h. I know that arithmetically that’s saying the same thing twice, but since I’m now an ex-nerd please let me hold onto my shiny un-intellectual baubles.

Beaming broadly as I walked into my ski-hovel, a strange false note tickled my nose. Cat pee. Unmistakably pipi de chat. Not owning a feline that seemed just as improbable as my fairly well-developed sense of smell said it was true.

I hunted around in vain for the four-footed interloper before it dawned my to take a whiff of myself. Yes, I was ‘smelly cat‘. And after a quick google, I determined it is indeed a matter of what they’re feeding me. There’s been cheap cheese at my local Rimi supermarket and I’ve been stocking up since protein is good for building up muscle mass. But the problem is that if your body only has proteins to burn instead of carbs, you’ll sweat out cat-pee smelling ammonia compounds. Yum.

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