Way too fast

14 Aug

I had a lot of stress at work when I lived in France. Happily I stumbled upon a lecture by a doctor on meditation. There’s nothing magical or religious about it. Just by focusing on your breathing for a few minutes you put everything back into perspective. When I came out of the meditative state, usually while sitting on the bus, my shitty job and shambolic personal life suddenly seemed less weighty.

I still get into a meditative state almost about every day. The difference now is that I no longer do it while sitting still. Now I move my whole body in coordination.  But the focus still stays on my breathing. I usually keep a high enough tempo to breathe hard the whole way, however far I ski. The force behind every pole plant, every step is that cardiovascular motor. I stay in contact with it and advance by pushing off from its central point.

Before when I went too fast the whole apparatus would sputter to a halt. My legs would go weak and I’d hang on my poles grasping for breath. But now the motor has become stronger and I know my body better. In the midst of training pain, I hand the control over to the heart and lungs and and let myself go as fast as they’ve got power to burn. I center myself there and whatever little disappointments at work or in my personal life fade to the periphery.

A lot of people think that when you meditate you’re supposed to think about nothing. But that’s impossible. Rather you just acknowledge the thoughts that come and then let them go. Then you bring the focus back to your breathing. But now I don’t stop there. I  hit the gas.

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